The Eight Crimes of the Cat

And thus were recorded the Eight Crimes, committed without remorse, without apology, and often before breakfast.

Crime I.
The Act of Biting the Caretaker.
Crime II.
The Breaking of the Window Blinder.
Crime III.
Surveillance During Sacred Toilet Rituals.
Crime IV.
The Desecration of All Tissues.
Crime V.
Suffocation by Chest and Neck Occupation.
Crime VI.
The Deployment of Claws.
Crime VII.
Interference During Labor and Thought.
Crime VIII.
Drinking From the Human’s Cup.

No punishment was issued. For the Cat acknowledged no authority.




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